Title: Signal Noise 4 Author: Istannor Series: TOS Part: 1/1 Rating: [PG13] Codes: K/S Summary: The Tease goes on and Uhura tells this tale. Disclaimer: These are the characters of Paramount and Viacom, they own them I only check 'em out from the library. I promise to bring 'em back. Signal Noise 4 There is a saying in Ethiopia: "When one is in love, a cliff becomes a meadow." I used to think that I knew the meaning of that saying. There had been several times in my life when I thought I was running across a meadow, only to find myself jumping off of a cliff. There's another saying that I often heard as a child: "It is not the fall that kills you, it is the hard landing." Houston, the Eagle has Landed, hard. People should tell you: falling in love, means you have to land. I am going to dictate this into my private diary and never let anyone see it for as long as I live. I am not ashamed of what I saw and I am not embarrassed by what I saw; I'm envious. A good communications officer sees and knows everything on board ship. We are the quintessential example of knows all, tells nothing. We see everybody's private memos, and everybody's private letters from home. We know when people have ordered dirty movies from Antare's; we know when jilted lovers have cursed people out by subspace radio. We hear it all. A good communications officer is a discrete communications officer, or an out of work communications officer. I love my job, I love the ship, and... I probably love my Captain and my First Officer. I don't want to lose any of these things, so no one will ever hear this from my lips. To be truthful, I would have to tell how I saw it, and that wouldn't be too flattering to me. Yesterday, I found a glitch in the communications interface that I was able to pick up on the bridge, but it was obvious that the problem was deep in the bowels of the Enterprise. I felt like taking a stroll, so I let my relief take over the bridge, signed out to Scotty in the center seat, and went for walk. I needed to go through the Jeffries tubes to get to the node interface for the communications grid. I wanted to get my hands dirty with a little hard work and take a stroll someplace private where I could just think. It was a great day. There was nothing pressing on the bridge and I thought it was a good time to treat myself to a little peace. The Jeffries tubes are one of my favorite places on the entire ship. They are warm. They have this light vibration all the time and a low-level hum that makes you feel alive. If you must know, it's one of my favorite places to pleasure myself, by myself. So, I had it in mind that I would take myself down to the warm, dark, vibrating tube, fix the communications node, and then fix myself. It was definitely a wonderful day. Needless to say, I worked with great speed and completed my job, and then I relaxed back against the wall, turned off the work light, and proceeded to immerse myself in my favorite fantasy. It was great fun. I was really close to getting wrapped up in strong muscular arms and having a face buried in my crotch, when I heard a noise below me. There is nothing more embarrassing then being caught masturbating in the Jeffries tube, so I ducked down so I wouldn't be seen. I mean, really, my panties were laying next to me, and it would be too loud to try to get them back on. I think I forgot how to breathe. I know I was not going to let anybody catch the head of communications playing with herself in the Jeffries tube. I heard someone moving down below me in what we call the heart of the ship. It is a small room in the farthest reaches of the Jeffries tubes, where, if you use your imagination, the engine sounds of the ship become a heartbeat. Not a lot of people like to come there, because it is so far out of the way, and for some of us it is a claustrophobic space. Don't tell me how I knew, but I was immediately certain that it was James Kirk. He has been known to sleep in the heart of the ship when he gets really tense, or stressed out. I strained to listen to the mumbled words I could hear from below. "Stupid, stupid, how could you be so stupid, James Kirk? Damn. Now you have gone and embarrassed Spock and yourself, and you did it in front of McCoy, of all people. Since when did you have this much trouble controlling yourself? How could you?" He was silent for a moment, then he spoke in his own defense. "I never wanted to hurt Spock. I never wanted to embarrass him. I never wanted to do anything like this. Now, I've gone and ruined it all. I had the best First Officer in the fleet, the best Science Officer in the fleet, the best friend anyone could ever want in life, and I have gone and ruined it all. I am a fool." I had never heard such pain in Kirk's voice before. No correct that, I heard that kind of pain when he came back out of the Guardian of Forever. There was nothing I could do except stay were I was, try not to be heard, and wait for him to finish. I could hear the sound of his moans of disgust, and the low- level thunk a body makes when it repeatedly hits against metal walls. I don't know what made me do it, but very slowly I inched forward, centimeter by centimeter, until I could see down into the heart, into my Captain's pain. He was slumped down on the floor with this head resting on his knees, and he slowly rocked back and forth, back and forth. The only sounds were the words he uttered, one repeated word: "stupid, stupid, stupid." I had never seen James Kirk so deep in his own world of pain. It is not a sight that the Captain allows anyone to see, even though we all know how deeply he feels things. I'm not stupid, and neither is James Kirk. I knew right away what he was talking about. I have been watching him watching Spock, and watching Spock watching him for months now. A few times, on the bridge, I wanted to shout at the both of them to just stop playing games and go make love. It is painfully obvious, even to the deaf, dumb, and blind, that they both adore each other. When they get close to each other, the hairs on the back of my neck ripple a little from the static electricity that flows back and forth between them. I have no idea why they haven't given into it in all these years, and personally I think it's pretty dumb. At first, I decided it was because James Kirk was too hot after women to look at a man. Then, I decided that Spock was too afraid of ruining his reputation as a Vulcan, to fall in love with a human male. In all honesty, I wasn't sure which was worse for Spock, that Kirk was human, or that Kirk was male. Then, I had a flash of brilliance. I decided it was because both of them were afraid. I haven't seen anything since then to make me change my mind. The only thing in the world that scares Spock, and scares Kirk, is risking each other. My heart went out to him. And I silently wished that I had my panties on, so I could go and hug him. I was debating how to get myself out of this mess, when Spock walked into the heart. James Kirk jumped up like somebody shot him with a phaser. "Spock, how did you find me here?" I could swear that was the first time I ever heard true fear in James Kirk's voice. "I have never lost you." Spock moved slowly to close the space between them. I watched James Kirk try to back through the bulkhead, almost panicked. "Why are you avoiding me, Jim?" "I'm so sorry, Spock. I embarrassed us both in front of McCoy. I had no self-control, and I had no right to do that to you in public, or for that fact, at all. I'm so sorry, please forgive me, please." "What am I forgiving you for? Do you think that was something I did not wish also? Do you think there is anything about your touch that I am ashamed of? Do you think there is anything about you I do not desire? Do you assume that I care what McCoy thinks? What I care about is the fact that you made me leave Sickbay without you, and you have avoided me ever since." Spock moved even closer to him, and leaned forward a little. You could almost see his breath beating trails down Kirk's face. "Jim, I am past regrets. I will not be ashamed of what you have offered me. It is something I have wanted for so long I cannot remember not desiring it." Spock reached two fingers forward and touched James Kirk so tenderly on his cheek that I almost sighed and gave myself away. He let his fingers trail down towards the neck gently and oh, so slowly; it was torture. Kirk's eyes closed and he smiled a smile of pure rapture, a wonder to behold. I was not witnessing lust, or conquest; I was witnessing adoration. "Spock," Kirk whispered his name and laughed with joy. "I can feel you in my mind." "I have never not been there." I'm not sure whether Spock leaned toward Jim or if Jim leaned toward Spock, probably they leaned toward each other. In any case, it was the lightest, most delicate, most sensuous kiss I have ever seen. It was a kiss of wonder, and completion. Spock leaned forward a little more and pushed Kirk back against the bulkhead, somehow his body molded entirely to Jim's. It was no different than the case with their lives. Slowly Kirk nipped on Spock's upper lip, lightly he brushed his lips across Spock's lower lip, both of their eyes closed as they explored nothing more than each other's lips. Spock pulled back and looked at him like a man in shock. "I misled you; Vulcans do dream. I have dreamed of this many times." Kirk reached up both of his hands and held Spock's face; he looked at him with a smile that said more than words could ever say. Then, he slowly pulled him back to kiss him again. First he kissed Spock's left eye closed, and then Jim closed his right eye with a kiss. He turned Spock's head to the left side and ran his tongue lightly over his ear to the tip which he kissed lovingly. Kirk turned Spock's head to the right side and tasted his ear with a lingering kiss that seemed to say I want so much more, but even this part I love. I was really getting uncomfortable in that tunnel. Kirk turned his face to Spock and drank him in with a smoldering look. He kissed each Vulcan-hot cheek before he was content to return to the lips. Even I could hear Spock's groan where I lay in the dark, listening to love. Spock leaned forward and opened his mouth slightly, and paused a millimeter away from Kirk's lips to breathe in and out. Then he covered Jim's lips, with a low moan. I almost came. I don't know what to say. I have seen James Kirk go after quite a few women in the past. I have never seen him make love with nothing but a kiss. I have never seen, spore free, Spock enraptured. I saw both. The torture must have gotten too much for them both because Jim pushed Spock back and pulled his Command gold off, stood, and stared. I could tell that he still couldn't believe what was happening. Spock came up to him and slowly began to rub his hands over Jim's chest. Kirk hissed out a single word: "yes." It freed Spock, and his lips leaped to Kirks nipples. When he sucked it in, Kirk arched back and dug his hands into Spock's hair. I could feel Spock on my nipple. It was hard and his tongue flew around it, teasing and sucking to a rhythm designed only for me, I mean, Jim. I had to shake my head to rid myself of the thoughts. I could not afford to have an orgasm this close to Vulcan ears. Spock stopped and the only sound I heard was heavy breathing. They leaned forward and wrapped each other into arms that had never been truly filled before. Kirk broke the silence. "We need to stop, Spock, or we will both have to take the tubes all the way to our quarters." He chuckled and reached up to stroke Spock's back with both of his hands. "I have waited two years, 3 months, 12days, 16hours, 25minutes, and 22.6 seconds for this moment. I do not wish to stop." Spock turned and captured Jim's lips in a kiss that sank into Jim's mouth while his lips and tongue explored every last millimeter he could reach. Jim's hips began to thrust against Spock as he writhed under Spock's onslaught. The only sound I heard was fabric on skin, and the low moans of passion on the edge. Spock grabbed Jim's legs and lifted him from the floor. Kirk wrapped his legs around Spock. They never once let their lips separate. Spock began a slow rocking motion that seemed to drive my Captain wild. Did I tell you how hard this was for me? They seemed to do that for an eternity, but in truth it was only two minutes; the alarm sounded. Red alert. That is the definition of a cold shower. They stood back like someone had doused them in ice. I could see the tension in both of them as they warred between duty versus desire. I had no doubt what would win out. They both shuddered. Spock gently lowered Kirk to the floor and stepped back. Kirk took another long shaky breath, then he leaned down, picked up his shirt, and put it on. Spock was silent while his Captain dressed. They turned to run out of the tubes, but right at the door, Kirk grabbed Spock's arm and pulled him back. He reached up and gave him a kiss that lingered, pulled back just a centimeter, and whispered roughly into the silence between the alert klaxons : "I love you." Before Spock could answer, Kirk turned and ran out. I am jealous and I am not ashamed to admit it. I want that for myself. My tunnel trial and tribulation brings to mind a song of the Zulu that I learned as child. Wherever I am, My heart is with you, my love. The river can not keep me from you. In my mind's eye, I see always you, my love. Nothing can divide us, one from one. My heart sings for you, my only love.