Title: Dear Sam  25
Author: Istannor
Series: TOS
Part: 1/1
Rating: [PG13]
Codes: 
Summary: This letter discusses Captain Kirk's reaction to
the now famous events on Ekos. We do not understand the
references to the flashback. More research is obviously in
order.

Disclaimer: These are the characters of Paramount and
Viacom. They own them. I only check 'em out from the
library. I promise to bring 'em back.
Copyright@Stardust Memories 1999

Captain James T. Kirk
USS Enterprise NCC-1701
C/O Starfleet Operations
Earth Central


STARFLEET DIPLOMATIC COURIER, CODED SECURE
George Samuel Kirk Jr.
Bioagricultural Industries, Kirk Inc
Deneva Central
17 Junque St.
Deneva, UFP

Dear Sam,

Sam, this is getting repetitious.  I have no idea what I'm
doing to bring this on myself, or my ship.  I seem to be a
magnet for bad luck.  Statistically speaking, there's no
reason in the galaxy for me to have this many deadly
encounters in such a short time.  I'm beginning to think
that this is part of my heritage.  I looked at the other
ship logs, and every month we have a Captain's conference.
No one else has as many encounters as the Enterprise does.
Is that why I'm out here?  This is not the reason I sought
the stars.

Remember Prof. John Gill?  I killed him.  It took probably
half a second for me to decide to do that.  I have been
well-trained, haven't I?  That's what they want from a
Starship Captain.  They want us to be decisive and I was
most certainly decisive.  Starfleet would've been proud of
me.  I took a hypo full of drugs and injected it into the
shoulder of the brilliant, kind, sick, and misguided old
man.  Before the drugs killed him, he was shot to death.

I'm really trying to see the justice in that, but I can't.

He decided to try out one of his theories on a New World.
Sam, he tried to build a world modeled on the Nazis.  You
cannot use evil to build good.  I remember Jean drumming
that into my mind again and again.  "Jimmy, you can't build
playgrounds over graveyards, the bones always surface."
John Gill should've met our cousin.  It would've saved his
life.

I bet when he used to teach me in his history class at the
Academy, he never suspected I would kill him one day.

I feel really bad, Sam.  This hurts.  I don't even know how
to tell anybody else about it other than you.

At first, I ordered McCoy to give the injection.  He
wouldn't.  I shouldn't have asked him to do it.  I should've
known he would've hesitated.  I promised him I wouldn't do
anything like that again.  I didn't mean to break my promise
to him.  I just wanted Gill to wake up and make it better.
I Needed Gill to wake up.  I hate him for making me kill
him.  I hate him for disappointing me like this.

He betrayed his oath.  He betrayed the Federation.  He
betrayed me.

I could feel the rage rise up in me, Sam.  I had such a
sense of righteous burning.  How dare he have the
presumption to attempt to control an entire civilization?
He was the one who kept saying we must learn from history.
Did he forget what Europe did to the American Indians?  Did
he forget what Rome did to Europe?  Did he forget what Spain
did to the Inca's and the Aztecs?  Did he forget what the
Moors did to Spain and Italy?  Did he forget the Eugenics
War? Did he forget Mars?

He made me want to understand and remember all of that and
then he forgot it.

Those who do not remember history are doomed to repeat it.

He deserved to die.  At least, most of the time I think he
did.  Then, I remember him standing in front of my class and
making history sing to me.  I guess I loved him for that. It
didn't stop me from killing him.

Spock says my choice was logical.  McCoy says he
understands.

I don't know what I'd do without their support, lately. It
has been a rough ride for all of us on these last few
missions.

I had another flashback.  I was a middle-aged Jewish man
living in Nazi Germany.  I had sent my two youngest away to
live with the Family in England.  The Nazis burst into my
home, and shot my oldest son and my wife in front of me.
They took me away to be questioned by the Gestapo.  I guess
he must have escaped, since I have this memory.  He wanted
to kill them all, Sam, and he made me feel the same way 400
years later.

Ekos had no choice.  John Gill taught them how to be Nazis.
I have a choice.  If I ever do anything like that, kill me.

Starfleet is busy trying to put a good spin on the whole
thing. It leaked to the press when they sent the team out to
defuse the situation. Imagine the public uproar when they
found out that the famous Prof. John Gill had been guilty of
breaking all the rules as a planetary observer. A joint
board of civilian and Starfleet personnel is reviewing the
program. They want to revamp it to keep anything like this
from happening again. It won't work. The only thing we can
do is leave these worlds alone, completely. The temptation
to meddle is just too great.

I have to go. We are going to survey another planet. This
one doesn't seem to have any sentient life-forms, so maybe I
can stay out of trouble for awhile.
           
Love,


Jim









October 26, 1999
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